Cellphones and Insecurities

Be Allright (remix) - The Foreign Exchange

Oh how life is starting to slowly change. Things are actually looking out for the better for once. If I haven't posted yet, I have successfully and safely moved to Toronto area (specifically Etobicoke) and it's actually quite nice. It makes me somewhat feel that I am home. It's much more urban which sends out a pretty nice vibe.

For some reason, however, my insecurities are starting to manifest itself, becoming so evident that even I start to wonder why I am this way. It's pretty difficult trying to combat the emotions when the trip kicks in. Every time I'm around people (i.e. the mall or some public place) I start to become very very shy and insecure. Honestly, I don't really know why I'm writing about it but I felt that I just needed to let it out. Hopefully this doesn't last for too long. Well, this "thing" has actually been around since California though it slowly started to disappear, it seems that the lack of friends and companions to keep my confidence high, it just pummeled me with outstanding force. I just feel like I need to hide in a shell every time. I really pray that this doesn't last. I really think I need help (Lol).

Anyway, enough with my rantings. Let's just see how the future unfolds and how the pages will turn. Hope all is well with you.

Galaxophones

Love - Musiq Soulchild


[Muse]ic

Hue and i paint the sky sadness
To rid ourselves of the blues.
I saxophoned the pain away
C-ing the notes as it flew past your ears.

You closed your eyes to feel the
Full effect of the reverberations of the
Notes from the walls,
Groovin' and Snappin',
Your head bobbin to the emotions
Of my instrument

You grabbed the flute and jammed
To the melody of the b[anned].
Our notes dancing in the air amidst
The sweet ambiance of brass and wind.

The sweetest love is made void
Of contact, of touch.
Our thoughts spelled out in the air,
Decoding it with ease.
I read your feelings and
Hue, red mind.

Well done my friend.

Well Done - Passion

We never truly do know what we have until it's gone.

It's surprising how someone can stand in front of you one day and be gone the next. Though I am thousands of miles away, I can still remember him sitting across from me, spinning his phone, annoying Marzen, and always smiling. Sadly, I received a message yesterday. Something so grim it stopped me from what I was doing just to make sure the information was correct. Apparently, a friend of mine was involved in an accident February 17, 2009 at approximately 3:00 PM. Unfortunately, he didn't survive. My friend Roger Nunez, a person I've known since 7th grade but did not really get to know until my final semester in Northridge, passed away. I didn't expect this to happen. It was so sudden. What I also didn't expect was my reaction to it. As soon as his passing was confirmed, I suddenly felt a heaviness in my chest followed by violent tears. It is so difficult to grasp the fact that someone you know has passed let alone your friend. However, we know that he's in a much better place now and one day we will be at his side. I just hope that I got to see him when I find my way back to California.

What I learned from this is that we must treasure those who are so near and dear to us. We sometimes take things or people for granted thinking that they'll be around later or tomorrow. However, nothing is ever certain.

Rest In Peace my dear friend Roger Nunez.
My thoughts are with you.
Love you bro.

The Foreign Exchange and Spontaneity!

Hey guys and girls! I know that it actually has been a while since my words has touched this page but don't fret anymore! I am back (or so I believe). It's just that I have been so caught up with school business (soooo not a pleasant experience) and such that it's been difficult to post. I was just so stressed and depressed to even try and push these keys (eventhough it's irresistible cause my keyboard's wireless). Anyway, while reading my lengthy rant, please enjoy this selection from The Foreign Exchange's new album Leave It All Behind. Just a little disclaimer: you probably will hear a lot of The Foreign Exchange on my page on account of they are my current inspiration.

Leave It All Behind - The Foreign Exchange

Anyway, to initiate this little blog, I would like to say that school isn't really working out for me. Despite being alone during lunch (either reading The Dead Emcee Scrolls while listening to my iPod, which is actually quite interesting, or playing my PSP) and some of my classes, I just don't like the whole atmosphere of the school. I mean, the people aren't bad at all and the staff is very friendly, I guess it's just not for me. However, we have to make do with what we have been given.

With that out of my system, I just want to say that this whole experience is quite...experiency. Lol. Anyway, to set aside all my complaints and stresses, I just wanted to say that out of all this, something miraculous happened. This is how it all started out! So, apparently, I had scheduled the appointment to arrange my classes during lunch time (and since I have failed to mention that there are two lunch times on account of there are just too many students, I'm mentioning it now. Yes, we do have two lunches). So, I headed to the guidance office to check with the counselor regarding my schedule changes. After all was said and done, I was quite content with what the counselor has given me. The classes were much more simpler than the once that preceded it. However, my lunch got moved to fourth period (initially it was during third period). So! As soon as I got out of that counselor's office, it was another hour of lunch for me. Oh how boring it was. So, I had to keep myself entertained somehow right? Correct. I put on Ong-Bak on my PSP and I was watching it until halfway through the movie, and idea struck me. I felt like I had to write something just for fun. The urge popped up out of nowhere. So, I grabbed my pad and the little multicolored Pilot mini that hid snug on the left side of my jean pocket, put on that Foreign Exchange track and began to scribble. What came out of the gibberish surprised me. Until right now it still gives me the chills. Although I was conscious when I was writing it, it just really freaked me out. So, for your viewing pleasure, the poem I had written in 5 minutes during lunch (another disclaimer, you might not understand it and it might not make sense to you but it just really weirded me out so I really feel like I have to share.):

"Eye unzipped my bag hoping
To find the truth hidden in the
Dark void of tables, cups end
Hopes but failed only to come
Across an old raggedy [note]
Book covered with peas, free-
Dumb and cocktails made out
Off a bouquet of Flo[wars]

Frustrations seem to be
The only source for my
Quest. Could it be I'm
Doing this to re-find My
Self? Sir Rounded and
Miss Understood followed me all
Day nagging and $h14! Eye
Nod my head agreeing as if
Some puppy to my E-motions.

Have eye been re-programmed
Buy some computer as an
Android ([Lackey]ng feelings)
And following some unknown beat
Or force that hinders Mii from
Pro-gressing and re-adapting
To this Nu-land?
Eye Guess Wii'l have to find out."

Haha! Well, there you go. I guess I'll just post more tomorrow or the weekend (whichever comes first). I hope all the best for you guys and thanks for reading though I know I'm weird.

Stay Classy San Diego!

The most clever song out on Rainbow Road

Let's go again. Some songs you just have to give props due to their clever words and conecepts. This is one of those songs. It's pretty self explanatory and I hope it does brighten your mood as it did mine:

The Mario Kart Love Song by blinktwice4y:

Mario Kart Love Song (Original).mp3 -

"Saw it on Jamila's blog:]"

The end of the weekend wasn't quite what I expected. Let's just say that I wasn't in the right condition after. Anyway, I couldn't really hold myself back from calling several people including" Janis, Vaughn, Stephen, Jazer (late happy birthday once again), Monica, Mary, Karen, and Justin. Hopefully I didn't call more. I confessed some things and said stuff that I had to without hesitation. It was quite funny if you ask me. Patched things up with Monica. Stuff like that.

Anyway, Im going to keep this short so you won't get bored while reading it. Well, this is actually pretty boring already as it is so I say, "GOOD LUCK!" However, I'm pretty sure that "The Mario Kart Love Song" is keeping you entertained. It's making your head swing from side to side and re-programming your heart to synchronize its beat with the songs (though the song doesn't have a beat, you know what I'm saying).

Final point of the day. I'm going to register for school tomorrow and I'm quite nervous about it. If you haven't seen my updates on Myspace when I had first arrived in Canada, it basically said that "I am a caramel swirl in a vanilla lake." Yes, indeed. It doesn't matter though. I heard that these kids were quite nice. Let me just say that nothing will ever beat NAHS. That's already a given.

I guess this is it for today. Hope you have a good day at school while I rest;] See you all soon! Only about 730 more days til' I come back home:]