Sunday, January 25, 2009

Wait for me to move out West

Enjoy the song while reading these words I type:

Playing Favorites (Acoustic) - The Starting Line

These past few days, It's really getting more and more difficult. I've probably visited Toronto about 4 times in a span of 2 days. Everytime I see this urban area (and the lifestyle that surrounds it) the more my eagerness to go back seems to grow. I cannot really explain how saddened I am, everyday that I am thousands of miles away from my true home. It just doesn't feel comfortable. Often times I would lie in bed listening to my iPod and a song would come in that would make me reminisce about a certain event that happened back in L.A. Everytime this happens, I would close my eyes and imagine the moment. I concentrate deeply on it until eventually I feel like as if I'm actually living it once again. I feel every emotion that I actually felt and all the happiness and the joys that occured. For that short moment I find happiness; seeing all the faces, and though it may sound weird, reliving the experiences. Eventually, however, I would have to open my eyes and see a white wall, right on top of me. Then, i try to hold back a tear that coaxes itself out. I do very well in supressing it. Nothing seems right though I try very hard to get used to this new place. I know I haven't really touched on this subject on my previous posts but I just felt like I had to today. Things hve been bothering me lately and I am "down" as one might say. I can't really explain why but my heart feels so heavy. I just want to be back home, where I truly belong. Where all my friends and family wait for me. To see all their faces, smiles, and even frowns. It doesn't matter what expression their faces depict as long as I am there with them. I miss everyone, I truly do. This song, however, doesn't do me well. It makes me too sad but its words truly speak what my heart wants to say. I love you all and I hope you know that.


  1. i love you, too, always :]
    when you played this song for the last time (for awhile, of course) at my house, i wanted to bawl as much as i could and as much as my soul would allow. you're deeply and sincerely missed like no other, but our hearts reach out to you knowing you'll be back soon.

    potf or envy: :]
    alyzzahnicole: we've been years running!
    potf or envy: yeeee
    potf or envy: haha
    potf or envy: i knowwww
    alyzzahnicole: from emomunkers to everything! lolll
    potf or envy: hahaha
    potf or envy: i knowww
    potf or envy: we everything now

    everything for sure :]
    love ya always! & missin you brother :]

    ate lyza :]

    p.s. i think i've almost accomplished pho. not quite perfect, but almost!